Alert, emo post ahead.
minors below 14 please do not continue.

today has been one of those many examples why i hate myself.
why i stare at the mirror and i feel the tears burning my eyes.
I hate myself. I hate my lack of self control.
i hate my life.

I have this weird tendency to be emotional when everyone else doesnt, not in the same situations. Tears fall as easily as words fall out of my mouth.
The last time you probably cried was a few months ago, congratulations, mine is a few hours ago.

I hate it

when i cry while i watch dramas, especially when everyone isnt.
when i cry when i feel hurt.
when i feel my mask slipping off, when i feel myself slipping into oblivion.
when i lose control.
when i appear weak.
when i give up.
when the memories come.

The bane of my life is myself.
Unfortunately.
Someone you cant get rid of, someone who stalks you everyday, everywhere.
Someone who is afraid, someone who has a weakness, someone whom i fear to hurt.

I love it, yet i hate it - My sensitivity.
It lets the words flow, the emotions stream.
Yet, the tears follow close behind.


betrayal,
love,
pain,
sadness,
abandonment.


go away.
she beats against the air, seemingly at nothing.
yet she feels it, she can't breathe.
her lungs burn, and the blade shines under the light.
she can't do it, and she hates herself even more.
yearning to be free, yet held back by fear.
hope dies even as it appears.



forgive me.
this post is dam emo.
but my tears give me no escape.
my dreams are dark, and i am drowning.
i wake up, and reality hands me a tight slap.
the water closes over.

the tension . it's just killing me '-[xiiao] deathie

Labels: emo