okay. i know i promised 6 8 posts or something like that, but i've been thinking (AGAIN) especially after MPP.

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Well.. Now that Yoon Jung mentioned it, it really came as a shock.
She asked me if I was still going to apply for CAP.

Now everyone who remotely knows me well knows that I absolutely ADORE writing, and I really want to get in CAP. In fact, it's been like the only RS thing I've been thinking about and imagining myself like applying for.

But now seriously, since MPP came up.. I'm not so sure of this "dream" anymore.

Is it really worth it to give up 2 years of my RS doing lit RS again? I love lit.. i really do. I LOVE MY RS GROUP. but lit RS kills me. It suffocated me enough this year, and I really can't imagine what I would do if I don't get in next year and get stuck doing lit RS again.

And I can't apply for both MPP and CAP. URGH. Basically this is because CAP comes with lit RS - you apply for CAP, you DO lit RS.

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You see, the problem here is that I never really imagined that I might even WANT to pursue something other than CAP for RS. Urgh, it sounds super short sighted but..

I don't know what to do now.

In simple terms, this means, IM LOST.

It doesn't help that I'm listening to simple plan :O What If.

Like I said to Joey, Charla, and Yoon Jung,

I KNOW.. that I don't NEED CAP, but the problem here is that it's so shocking. And.. I'm scared I guess. If I don't get into MPP, I will definitely regret this decision, and vice versa. WHAT IF I DON'T GET IN?

URGH. i think I'm being affected by the psychological book I've been reading. O.O It talks about living the life you're "supposed to live" / "want to live". so there.

URGH. tag your opinions :O before I bao za of frustration.

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erm. scroll down and it's my nightmare post.(which I'm doing now. heh. I SHALL POST THIS FIRST :D)

cyaz!

-- xiiao* deathie ♫

Labels: rant, school, stressed, yourstruely