oh yay. exams ended.

its supposed to be a happy day okay.
fine i wasnt happy to begin with, but thats besides the point.

im extremely irritated/annoyed/disappointed at my parents.
especially my mom.

urgh. dont even get me started.
she just gave me this long rant about how i was rude / unappreciative of them / not working hard enough / anyhow spending my money, etc.

seriously. let me break all that down.

i know im rude to them, and thats wrong. so yeah i admit it. but thats because they keep doing things to annoy me. they dont give me privacy (my dad snoops in my room). they keep asking me whether im studying. seriously. STOP ASKING. but oh well. my fault. sorry!

being unappreciative of them is another thing. i appreciate them. they dont appreciate me. at all. they dont understand that i cant do math or science. or that i dont put effort into them because i'd rather work on my 强点 (chinese compre today!) rather than waste my time on my 弱点. they dont appreciate that compo writing (eng and ss) is like natural born / semi natural talent.

not working hard enough is just urghh. i do work hard. sometimes. i may not be putting all my effort, or as much as they want me to (they expect miracles. seriously) but i try. i've been trying more than i did for the last few papers. and i really really do want to do better. i want to prove that somewhere out there gloria can actually do better and not be some sort of useless listless thingy. AND ITS NOT MY FAULT I CRY. I DONT EVEN LIKE CRYING. IT PISSES ME OFF. I HATE FEELING OUT OF CONTROL. PEOPLE. STOP TELLING ME TO STOP CRYING. YOU THINK I LLIKE WALKING AROUND WITH A PINK FACE AND A BLOCKED NOSE?! YOU MAY, I DONT.

money thing is just retarded. my money. fullstop. you dont give me enough money. i pay for everything, my foolscap, pen, class photos, blahblah. I DIDNT EVEN GET A PROPER BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION. and plus they keep talking about how times have changed. TIMES HAVE CHANGED, THE HIERARCHY OF NEEDS IS DIFFERENT NOW.

so yeah.

pissoff.

Labels: rant, stressed